Good birthday, bad birthday, good again

I am twenty years old now. I'm no longer a sexy teen. It was my birthday on Monday and it was pretty interesting.

I woke up and played Cake Mania for several hours until JJ came home from work early with mom and David. Momma and David happened to bring VEGETABLE SAMOSAS. I was pumped. After I feasted on Indian cuisine, Momma and I knit up a storm.

Then JJ told me we couldn't go to the Casino because he didn't get his health card renewed. What a bummer. I was pretty upset about this. My whole birthday extravaganza hinged on eating at the Casino and gambling.

New gameplan. Manadarin. I would eat until I couldn't move and I would get myself a little mocktail since I can't drink. Momma, David, Cheryl, Dad, Chris and JJ shared my birthday celebrations with me. Instead of desert, I ate mashed potatoes. I love pregnancy cravings.

Present wise I got maternity wear, pyjamas and a funky pregnant lady dress. I also got new tights, cocoa butter and pregnancy candies to stop nausea.

We came home and I was feeling pretty good. I was thinking that this was a good birthday... and then it happened. I was looking for my cellphone all over the place and couldn't find it. I didn't bring it because I was focused on eating, so I left it at home. Frustrated, I sat on the bed and Charlie moved out of the way. What do I see under his fat ass dog body?

A DESTROYED CELLPHONE! There were holes for huge bulldog fangs all over the mangled thing. There were no buttons on the front anymore. The screen on the front was destroyed, caved in to be exact. It was covered in slobber and I knew that poor battery must have been shot. I turned it over and sure enough there was a huge bite mark carved into it. I turn the phone on, just to see what could happen. It turned on. I flipped it open to see if I could use that screen. Nope, that would be too easy. And then the phone realised it's a broken, piece of shit and turned off. Never to be turned on again. Justin openly admits that the phone should not have been left on the bed, but what's done is done. Bye bye KEYBO.

So bad ending right? Well JJ gave me a massage to make up for it and as I was drifting off to sleep he asks me to open my eyes. I said no, I was sleeping and he can wait. He said he had a present and I told him I'd get it in the morning and rolled over. He wouldn't stop harassing me so I finally looked up and he had a ring in his hand. Needless to say, we're now engaged.

GOOD BIRTHDAY, BAD BIRTHDAY AND GOOD AGAIN.

This eggo is definitely preggo

I had canned chili yesterday. I really wish we had sour cream to go with it. That's how I eat my chili, canned or not. It was good, but now my craving for chili is gone. I feel bad cause he went out and got me four different cans. WOAH! If we had fries here, I could make chili fries. So tasty.

Now that I'm pregnant, all I think about is food and ways to eat food. I've never really considered food this much before. I've never been bulimic either, but being pregnant feels kinda similar except when I throw up, I'm not happy about it. I nom nom nom and run, run, run to the bathroom.

I also nap more. Were you aware that a pregnant woman expends more energy lying on the couch than a bodybuilder does at the gym? I know, pretty crazy right?

My biggest complaint is the enlargement of my body. I can't wear my regular bras. I can't wear my skinny jeans. I've got nothing to wear, but pajamas and oversized t-shirts. I miss bras and skinny jeans. I really do.

Awesome

I've decided to go home tonight, after JJ gets off work. I miss Milo a lot and I should really help Justin pack. We're leaving in a week.

Going home is going to be so much fun. My roomies are going to be so happy to see me. We're going to have a great time together and everything will be rainbows and kittens.

Ha ha ha. It isn't going to be rainbows and kittens (with the exception of Milo), however drama doesn't shake me. Things have changed and I'm glad for it.

JJ is no longer cleaning the kitchen except for his own dishes. He will not vacuum except for his room only. I'm really proud of him.

Don't even get me started on the dog. You know how I feel and what I've done and I'm not doing it anymore.

The last week I live there is going to be awesome. This is what happens when you don't give a fuck.

Correction:

Yesterday was almost the best day ever.

Thai lunch, mani+pedi, prescription filled, Arby's. Unfortunately, I did not get to see some lovely ladies because my new meds make me very sleepy. Although I'll pick a nap over throwing up, anytime.

Today:

I play Sims 3 all day.

I'm raising twin girls and my toddler son all while becoming the Chess Champion from my own home. My husband is a bank robber, so bills get paid and I get sweet stolen paintings to sell. It's a wonderful life.

Eventually JJ will come over and I'll have to face reality. Until then, bring on the twins.

Today's agenda:

- Get prescription filled. No more puke-a-thon.
- Eat Spicy Thai.
- Get nails did.

Perhaps hang out with some lovely ladies this evening?

Best day ever and I'm sharing it with momma.

Shower days

When you have a really good shower, everything feels better. I feel like I washed away all my guilt, pain and sadness. I also feel like I washed away a week's worth of tears and stress. I smell fucking fantastic too. I feel so good, I bust out the red lipstain. Lipstick ain't my thing.

I was prescribed some meds for my constant puke-a-thon. Basically, I take two at night and in the morning I won't feel like Mount Krakatoa. Sounds good, right? It would, if the prescription weren't $90. I looked at the pharmacist and said, "I'd rather puke". She started laughing until she saw that I was serious. She tried to get me to go for it, "You need to eat for the baby inside you". I told her that I could wait till my momma put it under her benefits plan. The woman told me that having parents is helpful when you're so young.

I'm pretty sure she thought I was 16. That's a good show by the way, "16 and Pregnant".

JJ is going to come over and rub my tummy and feet. I'm so fucking happy I get to see him. I'm going to rub his feet too, he works 50 hours a week. He deserves it, especially since I'm not cooking anymore. The smell of anything makes me puke.

A woman has 70 chores to do; cook and 69.

What's new pussycat?

He's gorgeous. I've never seen such a good looking cat before. He's going to be a neutered heart breaker when he's older.

Day one was intense. Milo would hiss at Charlie every time he got too close, but then Milo would jump on the bed and try to sniff Charlie again. I woke up to see Charlie and Milo sleeping on the bed together only a foot and half away from each other.

Milo likes to bite and nibble, but I guess that's what kittens do. I wouldn't know though I haven't had a kitten since I was four years old and I'm pretty sure I made that cat hate me for the rest of his life.